


The Mountains Have Teeth Now

by Rainbowraptor



Category: Gravity Falls, Invader Zim
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Sex, Alternate Universe, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Dib is So Done (Invader Zim), First Time, Gen, Gore, M/M, Older Dib (Invader Zim), Paranormal, Paranormal Investigators, Road Trips, Sex, Xenophiliac Dib (Invader Zim), Zim has learned new insults
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:02:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22815115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbowraptor/pseuds/Rainbowraptor
Summary: Zim and Dib share a problem and they both choose to handle it in their own ways. Dib decides to ignore Zim and Zim decides to focus on Dib.Love with monsters is difficult.
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 165





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be at least a two parter, one written from Zim's POV and the second from Dib's. 
> 
> Yes, Dib does drive a Honda and he always does in my stuff. That will never stop.
> 
> Ok, one last thing before I throw this at y'all.
> 
> This is the first time I've written a sex scene so please, keep that in mind when you read. There orginally wasn't going to be one but then the characters wandered off in that direction so that's what happened. 
> 
> This isn't smut, there is a plot. Really. I promise.
> 
> While I'm comfortable hinting at such relations, I'm very new to this particular venture. I apologize if it ruins everything.
> 
> Constructive criticism is welcome of course.
> 
> Alright, off we go!

Somewhere, somehow, over the years of the zit popping, horrid deodorant testing, (so much terrible, terrible deodorant) blood staining and mangling of prom clothing, removing (and reattaching) _testicles_ , three and a half vivisections (three Zim's, half being Dib's, he'd cut into the PAK, messed around a bit) flaying one another alive, the Wettening Phase 4 (involving acid, something humans weren't resistant to), melting two of Dib's cars, then, an entire Honda dealership, having Zim's Voot wrecked, losing and regrowing Zim's left leg, a foot, his skin.

Once, Dib's actions had even cost his entire head, another time, the removal of his tongue.

The lost tongue had been the most horrid to be perfectly honest. He'd had to suffer Dib's mocking until it had grown back. Worst still was the inability to tell his robotic smeet, GIR, NOT to jump into a ship and drive himself to dance on the moon.

Was it when Dib infected him with demon lice? Or the time Dib had burned down a movie theatre just to stop Zim's masterpiece from brainwashing the city. Ah, perhaps it was during the last time they had been forced to work together to stop the world's lawns from taking over. Another one of Zim's successful plans, if only the grass had recognized Zim's dominance instead of deciding they were superior.

Somehow, somewhere…

At some point, before Dib had reached his full blasphemous height of 6'3 ( _almost_ a whole two feet more than Zim's and nearing _Tallest_ levels) but _after_ Zim had botched Dib's first attempt to leave for college, seeing Dib's coworkers,family, and neighbors filled him with rage. Horrid humans, filthy, useless, and, worse, they all had tried to interfere. Harassing and tormenting Dib, more recently, flinging steaks and hams at him on Valentine's Day.

That was Zim's job, not some smelly Earth worm's.

Whenever these strange infectious thoughts had begun, the results were that he felt less concerned with conquering and/or destroying Earth, at least until he solved his, _this_ , Dib problem. The Tallest had made it clear that they cared little for this ball of filth that Zim was on, not only had they failed to respond to any of Zim's pings, the shipments of supplies had stopped. 

And now Dibstench dared to ignore him too? 

_Insolent hairy musk ape!!!_

Fuckpig sure wasn't going to come to Zim.

Zim may have finally snapped. That had to be why he'd tracked the human beast to, to, to this _shitty_ street and engaged combat with the Dibman for the first time in countless Earth months. 

Sliding his booted feet in the rubble of the asphalt and the dirt, two PAK legs raised high, freshly sharpened, aimed at his nemesis. The rush of adrenaline escaping from between his zipper teeth as a roar of victory. 

The Dibbeast, standing, bending slightly over, coat torn, his glasses shattered, piercings shining in the faint moon. He was clearly losing, his breaths coming out as short pants from bloody lips, glittering to Zim's keen unleansed alien eyes. Dibman stunk and tasted of defeat yet still had _that_ look in his eyes. 

"Zim," Dib groaned, he flinched, held his right arm as he looked back at his Honda. The little green vehicle was _fine_ , Zim had _only_ shot out _one_ tire.

It wasn't _his_ fault Dib lost control and smacked the machine into the side of a hill. 

"Why, why did you do that?!?!" Dib screamed.

There, Zim felt it, not from his PAK but elsewhere, a twisted, curl of…

Worry? For this Dib-thing?

Zim's attenene went back. His Irken eyes x-rayed Dib, so he could see how much damage the mighty Zim had inflicted on his enemy. Bruised muscle tissue yes, but none of those soft squishy organs were leaking or flattened. It also seemed that Dib's right arm was broken.

That didn't bring Zim just joy. Oh, there was still plenty of that, thank Irk, but it mostly was just…

Guilt?

Part of him even felt a little bad for the Honda. Zim looked at it with Dib. It actually looked newer than the first two had, shiny, a very nice green. Like liquid emerald. But now it was smacked into the side of this small, dirty rocky mountain and stuck in a ditch.The right side of the poor machine was crumpled.

Zim could feel Dib looking away from his wounded car so Zim met his brown eyes. Dib was a coil of shaking, trembling anger, then he snapped.

He screamed. He raged, he let go of his arm despite the agony it must have caused to pull at his own hair with his uninjured hand. 

Zim was proud. Proud of Zim, of course, but also proud of Dib.

"What the fuck are you even trying to do this time? What could you possibly be trying to do way out here? God damn it Zim, you haven't tried to fuck shit up in eight months! Did you just now come up with a damn plan or are you really just fucking with me?!"

"I can ask you the same thing!" Zim hissed, "Where are _you_ going, what sort of foul plans do _you_ have? _You've_ been suspiciously absent. So suspiciously quiet, you haven't even come by for our Truce night, GIR has been very, very upset!!! Off to find another demon to let loose on me when, Dib? Maybe on your way to retrieve some sort of a magical brownie to give yourself superpowers? Was losing both our skins not lesson enough?! Wait, is it college again? I thought you were going to take the Spider's courses?!" 

Dib sputtered. "What? Spider courses? Zim, it's called the fucking _internet_! And yeah, I'm taking some online classes not like it's any of your-"

"Are they going well?" Zim asked, eyes wide and attentae pricked up.

Dib blinked then shrugged, a smile touching his face. "Yeah, actually, in fact, I should have my degree in about 5-7 business days."

"Oh, which major did you pick?" Zim asked.

"Journalism."

"Ouch."

Dib sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I know but that's the only thing they had close to Paranormal Studies. Turns out, no one offers that degree anymore. People are hopeless." 

"Human college," Zim laughed, "Of course they wouldn't have a way to study things they fail to even acknowledge, " he smirked, "I'm sure Professor Membrane won't like that."

Dib rolled his eyes, "No kidding, that's why I haven't told him."

The Honda let out a ragged, cough like sound and the hood popped up.

"Why the fuck did you attack me?!' Dib yelled, smile going up in the flames of his rage. He had taken several steps towards Zim.

"I didn't attack you, I simply stopped you from going wherever smelly, worthless place you were going to!" Hissed Zim, jumping back into the fight like a cold cockpit after skool, he too walked up to Dib. He would not be intimidated by this human. "Tell me where you were going?!? Admit it, your off to find some new weapon to stop Zim!!!"

"It's none of your business!" Dib shouted. He yelled down at Zim, taking one finger and sticking it in Zim's face. 

Zim resisted the urge to take a laser to it.

For some reason.

"And not everything is about you!" Dib growled through clenched teeth. "I don't even think about you anymore!"

Shock rolled through Zim, sudden and terrible. His bottom lip even trembled for a second.

"LIES!" Zim screamed."Everything is about Zim!!!"

Maybe it had been Zim who attacked first but he was pretty sure the animalistic truth of Dib's human nature had forced Zim to defend himself.

They collided then, starting out as two beasts of rage and fury, normal fighting, like old times. But while they dodged, tussled, bit, slashed, kicked, fired a laser or two, Zim made sure not to actually use lethal force, he even refrained from harming the injured arm.

During this bizarre battle, the two had avoided blows, ended up on the ground, rolling off the road, and down a huge hill. 

Dib's grip remained tight on Zim's uniform through the entire, teeth jarring ordeal up until that final sharp stop. Zim and Dib almost drowned inside a pile of itchy fall leaves, foul filthy Earth leaves, irritating and scratchy. They surfaced, Dib sitting on top of Zim's middle.

It was the closest they had been in years.

"Get off me!" Zim hissed even though he found himself pleased Dib was so focused on him. To have those eyes seeing nothing else.

"I'm trying to save the town from something that actually knows what it's doing!" Growled Dib. "And I'm tracking it down! Or I _was_ until you tried to kill me!!!

"Tch, Zim knows what he's doing!! And Zim is definitely NOT trying to kill you, I'm only trying to-" 

Dib didn't let Zim finish, his face twisted in a state of rage, brown eyes behind barely hanging on glasses. Red juice was leaking from his mouth and turning his teeth pink. It was a very attractive look for the human.

"What are you trying to do now? Space Man? Huh? You know that the Tallest don't give a shit about whatever you are doing, so what reason could you possibly have for fucking with me?! Just tell me Zim, just try me!" His cries weren't like any other sounds Zim remembered from their long childhood battles. 

Zim's attentae sensed sadness, anger, frustration, and a strange smell that Zim had tasted before from other humans, a sort of musk that meant sexual interest, but never from Dib. 

No, that wasn't right, Zim _had_ caught a whiff of it off and on in the past, before Dib had begun to draw away from Zim. But Zim didn't think…

In any event, at least, it had never been _this_ strong. There had always been other scents covering it up, that disgusting body deodorant spray for one…

Oh.

Something within Zim also seemed to rise, awaken. Deep inside, a feeling came, shaking off dust and debris. The sensation was akin to the rush of battle but there was a rush of desire spiking, radiating from one spot in particular. Zim showed his teeth in a hiss, attentae moving back and forth, taking in the scent of Dib. What was happening? Zim didn't understand completely but he recalled knowledge but Irkens didn't reproduce in this way! They didn't rut in the dirt like Snarlbeasts, humans, fucking fish!

And another thing, to be craving Dib? He'd been away from Irk way too long if this meat sack was appealing to him. In _that_ way.

But...Dib _was_ formidable though, which might be why…

Between his legs _, something_ was opening, growing...slimy? Wanting Dib to just...Irk...Zim resisted the urge to groan and buck up towards Dib. 

Dib pulled Zim up by the front of his uniform then shoved him down again, trying to slam him hard on the ground but the leaves, as itchy as they were, made Dib's half hearted attempts to harm Zim fail. Zim didn't care, he snarled, the odd place between his legs pounding, moving, alive, and angry. It wanted-

"I don't care about you Zim, get that in both your brains. You're just a nasty ass cockroach from outerspace!" 

As he yelled, Zim just stared up at him. Eyes wide, unable to speak. He didn't know why but he just wanted Dib to...shut up and use that hideous acid filled mouth to close on his. 

Dib's words began to hold less menace, began to take on a sort of weary frenzy. "I...don't want anything to do with you, please, go away, please, because, just go, I'm trying to-"

The scent was stronger, growing more powerful every millisecond. Zim's desire was overwhelming, his PAK was burning on his back, and Zim fucking needed-

"What are you trying to do Dib?" Zim asked. He wanted to smile, mock Dib, but after all this time and looking at the Dib, feeling that the clothed bit of appendage of the human's had certainly and clearly been well repaired as it was hard so close to Zim's own gentailia.

The new part of Zim had tendrils and they were searching for Dib's parts. It pushed against Zim's pants, feeling through the clothing, aching to wrap around Dib's, and pull his within Zim where it could do whatever it needed too while Zim's own phallus reached out and-

"What are you doing out here?" Zim asked, barely able to speak.

In answer, Dib lunged down and suddenly Zim felt the burning sizzle of contaminated water inside his own mouth. Acid, burning, yet so amazing. Another tongue was wiggling around in his own, Dib's, and Zim found himself willing, happy, and above all, satisfied with this victory.

Zim was right.

Dib ended the kiss and his grip on Zim's uniform released. He looked a little stunned. 

Zim growled and leaned up, at first, Dib tensed but as soon as Zim's lips closed around Dib's own and Dib knew that Zim's attack was a different sort, relaxed just a bit and returned Zim's attentions.

In the begining, it was like they were still fighting. Zim nipped Dib a few times, Dib scratched Zim with unclipped nails. Zim rolled on top of Dib, clawing at the annoying black jeans that were between their genitalia, accidentally ripped open Dib's palm (Dib didn't seem to mind and helped), Dib lay back in leaves, hands on either side of Zim's body, bleeding on Zim's bare skin. 

Zim's own pants were still on but it seemed _his_ new, old? superior Irken gentaila, sick of waiting, had simply tore through Zim's clothes.

"What the hell is that?" Dib asked, eyes wide. His expression was both hungry and interested. "Is that thing...gonna-"

Zim's attentae moved back and forth. "I don't know, wasn't there before." He rasped.

The strange petals opened around a hole, within, they could see a sort of flash of hot pink lining, a long, dark red tentacle like thing , much like Zim's tounge whipped out, slick with a pale pink fluid. It wrapped around Dib's dick and pulled it into Zim. The petals closed shut as much as they could with Dib's member inside. 

Dib let out a loud moan of pleasure. "Holy fuck, it's like…" he lost the ability to form words and was reduced to moans of giberish. "God, just."

Within, Zim felt his own dick pumping and stroking Dib's and the sensation was much more overwhelming than blowing up a city. Dib inside him, filling him like this, friction between their body's, the feeling of climbing higher, higher, towards something. Zim lay almost completely on top Dib, their hands intertwined, his gloves growing wet with Dib's blood. Dib's mouth at his throat, giving rough bites that became more gentle.

All the while they moved with each other, thrusting, twisting, panting, hot, sweaty, burning, and full of energy.

At some point, Zim's PAK legs deployed only to srabble senselessly in the leaves and dirt underneath, ripping at roots or something, ah, Zim didn't fucking care.

Zim had no idea how long they did this strange new fight. They remained taught, nothing but muscles, obsene noises, and chemicals. A mass of fucking.

They kissed, bit, shoved, grabbed, bled, cried out, pulled away, came back. They didn't dare take the time to strip so in the end they were both covered in various fluids, and mud. It was messy and Zim supposed he should've been vomiting from the sheer dirty of it all and yet, just the opposite was true.

The pleasure was beyond anything Zim had felt in his long life. He was chirping, humming, and moaning. From the equally odd sounds the Dib was making, he knew that the same could be said for the human.

But suddenly, all this manic buzzing, rose, rose and then, fell. Everything was sucked away as they both issued forth sudden spurts of fluid. 

Zim crumpled, panting, letting out more tiny noises. On top of Dib, even with his PAK, he seemed to be sapped all energy. Zim tried to get up using his PAK legs but they shuddered and fell, useless as he felt. Zim caught sight of Dib's face underneath him, eyes unfocused behind his ruined glasses.

"Fuck…" Dib said. "We just...holy shit, just…"

"Still, quiet, ssssshhh" Zim whispered. The new place between his legs still held fast onto Dib's organs and instincts told him to relax or else Dib would lose them.

Again.

Eventually, the currents of buzzing, rushing, finally gave way to complete bliss. It took another few seconds for Zim to really have a sense of his new organ and the tentacles opened and released Dib, carefully before shutting and retreating back into Zim's body leaving only the faintest of a slit behind. 

"Fuck." Dib sat up, pushing Zim off him. "Fuck, I just fucking fucked an alien. _You_ , I just fucked you, is this real? Am I dreaming? Is this a nightmare? Am I dead?! Is this Heaven? Is this Hell? No, no, I must be in the virtu-" Dib cut himself off. "Agh, no, no."

Zim just lay still, on his side, too tired and dazed to do nothing but glare at Dib. "Too, to loud Dib beast. Silence. And come back, lay with me. I order you."

"This...this has got to be a trick!" But Dib wasn't shutting up, he was getting louder. "I'm in your base right now and in that fucked up machine thing and, and, no, this is exactly what I _didn't_ want to happen, just, god damn it!!!"

So Zim had been right, of course he'd been. With a groan that didn't reveal the satisfaction he felt, Zim stood up to face Dib, smoothing over his uniform as best he could. It unsettled him but a deep part of his brain was actually pretty impressed. His PAK legs retracted and Zim was pleased to find he was shaky, a little quaesy, and his PAK seemed to be busy handling the Dib's...juices, but otherwise good. Actually, elated.

"Ick, your filthy fluid is all over me. I'll have to cleanse myself three times to get all this off. This uniform, no, it goes to the incenerator."

He had a weird urge to stay as close to Dib as much as possible. To even...as Zim had said, _nest_ with him. But the Dib was busy freaking out, waving his arms around, and just being _extra_.

"Would _you_ please just stop making such noise? You're the one who started it, _you've_ been putting out your ripe, rank piggy, love perfume for years. Now I know why!" He cackled. "This explains everything!!"

Zim frowned. "Actually, if _you_ felt this way for me, why-" He looked at Dib. "And why are you-?"

Dib let out a ragged tell. "Because it's _you_ ! _You_ , Zim. The evil alien menace. I just can't get you outta my stupid brain. I tried staying away, especially since you've stopped bugging Earth. I thought it'd be easier but then it just got worse!"

Zim laughed. "That's madness. Yes, I'm an alien but why be afraid to admit that you desire Zim? I'm the best. _Of course_ you're attracted to me."

Dib just stared at Zim blankly. "You're my _enemy_. You're trying to destroy everything. You've made my life a living hell!"

Zim smiled. "Why thank you. And I must admit, I feel the same."

Dib stared. "You...you what?"

Not missing a beat, Zim continued. "You are vile, my number one foe, the one thing that stands between me and conquering this sad little filthy mudball. I _loathe_ you. Your, your human meatiness." He bared his Irken fangs in a grin. "But I accept your affection. I shall allow your...eh, offer to continue to worship me."

Dib sputtered, " Aren't you listening? I don't want to worship you! I don't want to lust after a damn space crab! Gah, it's _why_ I'm all the way out here! To get away from _you_!"

Zim narrowed his eyes. "I won't let you lie to yourself Dib. It's not good for you. Oh, wait, why are you here again? What could possibly compare to me?"

Dib opened his mouth to shout, no doubt more denials about his hormonal desire for Zim, but the- 

A sound ripped through the air. It was a horrid, twisted, screech of such power, the trees shook, the ground shuddered, and Zim felt his attentae curl in fear. 

Zim whipped his head in the direction of the sound and saw a huge dark shape rapidly approaching. 

"That." Dib said. He grabbed Zim's claw. "It's time to run now!"

In the second before the human pulled him off and away, Zim saw the monster stomping towards them. A stretched out horsey head, streamed with lanky, greasy black mane, appeared from the black of the night. It was pale and gray, eyes even paler, like two glowing moons in that ragged, sunken in face. A long beast, at least several of Dib's beloved Hondas long, fitted with two powerful legs and strange outstretched arms. Those claws weren't claws at all but opened humanlike hands. It had its mouth wide, gaping open, and Zim could count every one of its grotesque, yellow, blocky teeth. It let out another powerful roar. And Zim found he could understand the absymal speech. _**"Flessssshhhh"** _The thing cried.

Zim remembered one night, so long ago, in a restaurant that smelled of cheese and oil, in what he'd later would come to know as Bloaty's. Those horrible humans in costumes...

Except this was no human in a disguise to amuse children. 

Right before the foul thing could close it's human bite on Zim's sensetive flesh, Dib had pulled Zim up, up into his arms and was running. 

"Fuck, fuck." Dib screamed as he ran, leaping over something. "Fuck me, fuck me!"

Zim stared at the oncoming beast over Dib's shoulder, arms wrapped around Dib's chest, and legs around his waist. Despite being only a silly human, Dib was very fast and the distance he was managing to put between them and the monster was astounding. 

"Is this really the time?" Zim asked Dib's face stubble.

The wretch pursuing them gained several feet as Dib lost his footing for a moment but he quickly recovered. "Not, fucking, funny, Zim!" 

"Release Zim!" Zim said, only half meaning it. "I can easily defeat this beast!" He was positive Zim could make ribbons out of this offensive thing, but then again, Zim really enjoyed being held and carried by Dib. He was, admittedly torn between new and old instincts. 

"You don't get it!" Dib shouted. He twisted around a tree, ducked under an old log, then jumped over a creek. Dib was very agile indeed. Their battles throughout childhood had certainly sharpened the human. "These things, they, where's there's one-"

**Slam!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2, yay! Also, omg welp, this thing apparently needs a couple more chapters so, um, I'm...sorry?
> 
> Forgive me if there are typos and such. Rather than obsess over this thing for days, I decided to be chaotic good (?) and just dive in. This one needed Dib energy so I guess this was a good choice? 
> 
> Maybe? 
> 
> Anyway, this particular chapter does contain content regarding puberty and teen sexual urges. Nothing graphic, no actual teen hanky panky but just something to be aware of before you read. Dib is human and used to be a teen. It wasn't fun like most of Dib's life. Poor kid.

Dib's life hadn't been so great up to this point. Actually, it had been one big fuck up after another and that was _without_ the lizard from outer space to screw with things, though, Zim _was_ a big, fucking chaotic factor. He'd lost his skin, nearly been devoured by sentient grass, had been set on fire…

Somehow, someway, it had gotten so much worse after his final day of middle school. Ms. Bitters looking at him straight in the eye, looming over him as she loved to do, all what had to be seven feet rattling snake shadow of her, and said "You need to stop Dib, for your own good and everyone else's sake. "

"Stop what?" Dib had asked though he knew deep down what she meant. 

"Stop trying to get the others to see the truth. It's best that they don't know." She hissed, her glasses showing nothing but Dib's fifteen year old self back at him.The totality greasy hair, stubble, piercings, and gangly mural of himself.

Zim screeched, loud and proud, and had fled from the classroom then, shouting his joy in successfully completing "this important section in his completely normal boy education, oh how he looked forward to the next stage". Rather than press Ms. Bitters further, Dib shoved his things into his backpack and gone after the alien. 

Ms. Bitters' words were lost and forgotten for many years to the haze of the odd scent of oranges and burning acid of Zim.

Puberty had been a shit show. Yeah, the acne, the new body hair, the fucking sudden tangle of limbs he'd become, yes, that all fucking sucked. But, dealing with this mess and trying to protect the world was a nightmare. So, it was kinda good when Zim had slowed his weird ass schemes. For the most part at least.

If only Dib's body and fucked up brain had behaved.

Shit got real weird about the time he was fourteen. The first dream hit Dib like a fucking train. A train covered in spikes, smelling like salt and spilled orange juice. Dib was on top of Zim, having tackled the alien to the locker room floor just like a few times before, trying to take a picture of Zim's undisguised state with his phone. "No escaping now!" Dib had shouted, but without his usual force. There was a weird burning in his groin and an excitement and Zim in the dream had just panted, struggling but with little actual fight. Zim lay on the ground, head back and he'd said-

Dib woke up, ashamed from the get go, and jumped out of bed. He'd scooped up all his comforters, sheets, and even the pillows with their pillowcases and thrown them in the trash compactor. Then lit the mattress on fire. 

He'd gone to school and had to suffer silently throughout science class. As always the universes' chew toy, he was paired with Zim in a weird in-promptu presentation about the invention of space meat. Dib had refused to look at anything else other than his text book. Luckily for his grades, Zim knew everything about the weird ground beef topic and basically carried the project by himself, actually getting a standing ovation from the rest of the class.

For almost a half a year, Dib hadn't been able to look at Zim without feeling his heart burn and usually his pants getting very uncomfortable. Zim noticed and relished in taking to insulting Dib more often. His favorite jibes usually mentioned Dib's smell. Apparently it had gotten worse. Dib just bought double the spray on deodorant and applied as much as he could and when still the alien complained, Dib added his own invention to the mix.

These hormonal, sexual, and perfectly normal human thoughts escalated every year since the first from the depths of a dark part of Dib, waving tendrils, screeching, and hungry. But only for Zim, no one else. Not Gretchen, not M, not Alex, not even Zita. From morning to lunch to nights when he occasionally had to stop Zim from turning all the people who came within five feet of Dib with a steak into a cow, Dib wanted to just push the alien up against a wall.

And not in a heroic, valiant way. 

Zim's weird demand to have a Truce night every week hadn't fucking helped either. Dib couldn't say no, otherwise Zim caused havoc and plus, well, Dib _wanted_ to hang out with the alien.

Those times spent either at Dib's place or at Zim's were always the best and the worst. Sitting on the couch with the Zim, making fun of bad movies together or fighting with Zim in defense of his favorite films. Sixteen Dib had wanted to sit a little closer to Zim for reasons other than the unthinkable, one of those being to better protect the Earth. So what if he entertained the idea of leaning forward, hand out stretched to-

It was wrong, these thoughts. Even the more gentle ideas he had working in his dad's laboratory. Eighteen year old Dib found that insects they used in research reminded him of the alien. One praying mantis in particular, with it's huge mutant red eyes, fueled a longing to leave early. Or the frilled lizard that would always open it's maw and hiss only for Dib as he entered the lab. These animals were cute. He could be comparing them to Zim.

Zim was still the enemy.

Wasn't he?

Dib stopped going to the lab, deciding maybe it was time to move away, for college. The one two states away had a great Paranormal Investigator program, the last actually, and Dib got in easily. He'd loved to go, he wanted to go, he couldn't think of anything else he wanted to do with his life except to perhaps attend a place where his ideas and theories might actually be welcomed and his worldview expanded on.

Except...

But…

Zim had taken a weird turn in his "normal human man education career", applying to a robotics course at a local university. Despite his apparent new turn towards... whatever new goal the Irken was aiming for, he couldn't be left alone. Part of Zim's engineering application had apparently involved making a fucking mess out of a movie theater. 

Twenty-one year old Dib signed up for online courses, doing his best to both keep tabs on and avoid Zim. Juggling two hobbies apparently wasn't enough. There were still nights where he woke from sleep, having to wash his sheets, or, worse, laying on his back, staring at the ceiling, thinking of soft, strange, fish scaled skin. Tasting oranges, a craving stronger than honey on his lips…

Gaz moved out as quickly as she could, off to tour as part of her gamer league. His dad was happy to have him stay as long as it took to "work on your poor, insane brain" and "be here so you can help your little friend."

Despite all the times Zim had come over and had actually been present to meet his dad, Professor Membrane failed to see beyond Zim's still sad disguise.

 _"Stop trying to get the others to see the truth…"_ Ms. Bitters had told him. 

Twenty four year old Dib sank his teeth in this memory as it came to him while he was going through old files for a research project. As he was prone to do, he obsessed over it, scoured the libraries for it, following glowing scratch-marks, plasma trails, and weird radio signals. If there was a reason why only he and his sister could see the world for what it was, Dib would find it. 

He’d even tracked down Ms. Bitters to her home. She had left several years ago however, leaving only dust, shadows, and, under a bundle of torn clothing and cleaning supplies, a single book.

For months (with a few breaks, he didn't want to revisit chair humanity) Dib holed up in his room. He'd read and re-read the flesh bound tome. Of course it was bound in skin, probably skin from children, and it had a single red eye staring from the cover too, at this point, Dib was no longer surprised. The book was filled with nothing but odd writing and drawings in charcoal. Monsters of different kinds slathered and snarled from the pages, some of which Dib recognized, others...well, Dib hoped never to see them up close.

Except for a couple of words, a location or two, and the phrase: "Keep the Eye Closed or the Mouths shall Open." Dib couldn't understand much of the book. He thought of asking Zim for help but the odd butterfly feeling and warmth to his face at the very idea only sent him deeper into soloing this particular project.

So alone he found the location mentioned and decided to travel there. Apparently the place was supposed to be protected by packs of weird beasts so Dib made sure to load his trunk with weapons. 

Too bad he hadn't thought about the chaotic variable of Zim.

**SLAM!**

Dib ran into what had to be a furry, stinking, brick wall and fell to the ground. He recalled Zim being on his back so he rolled, falling to his side. Shocks of pain stabbed his ribs and elbow, his broken arm screamed. Dib yelled, eyes closing. Fuck, why hadn't he worn some kind of armor or something? He'd gotten soft and so stupid. 

Dib wanted to just lay there and die, old self hate back in a flare, but he forced his mind to concentrate, to stay conscious. He sat up, Zim was still clutching onto his back. Over them towered another beast, larger than the last but white haired instead of black. It opened it's great maw and a rush of foul, toxic haze came forth past human like boulder like teeth, "Flesssssssssshhhh, flesh for the Guards, flesh for our Shawl, fleshhhh for-"

A pink laser shot into the back of the monster's throat. The horrible thing screeched loud and terrible. It shook it's great horned head and thrashed. "Fleshhhhhh," it wailed.

"Move monkey!" Hissed Zim into Dib's ear.

"I'm not a-" A swift jab with one of Zim's sharp body parts (really could've been anyone of them, the bug was so pointy) and Dib started to do just that but an even worse glass shard of agony impaled his arm, shoulder, and chest. "Fuck," Dib groaned. He'd broken something else but he pushed through and got up. He'd been through worse.

Zim leapt off of Dib's back. 

Behind him, he heard the smaller monster wailing and the sound of more laser blasts firing. When Dib turned, Zim was a sight to behold, high above he was, all snarling teeth, glowing eyes, entire PAK and PAK legs alight with pink. 

"Dib-mate, move!" Zim ordered again.

"Wait, no," Dib sputtered, "I'm not your-we, yeah, but I mean-" 

White Hair roared and lunged after Dib and his not mate, full of fury and rage.

Zim dropped down, grabbed Dib and on skittering spider legs, they took off. At first they were on the ground, Zim carrying him through the forest with a scary amount of skill. Trees whizzed by, a branch or five slashed Dib's face, arms, pulled at his hair. Zim leaped into the trees another, then another. They crashed back to the ground with such force Dib was sure he was going to get whiplash. Unfortunately for Dib's poor spine, Zim didn't stop, he leapt up again. The alien twisted and flipped, the untamed mountain terrain nothing in the face of Irken technology and training.

It was kinda cool actually. Despite the fact that Zim of all people was carrying him like they had just gotten married and-

Dib tightened his arms around Zim's shoulders and neck as they launched high, way, way too high, into the fall night sky. Dib inhaled sharp and hard, taking in the scent of spilled gas, leaves, and citrus. He looked down (of course he did) and saw a very familiar road and ruined Honda. They fell and Dib was very glad he had such a strong stomach. 

As soon as Zim hit the ground Dib expected to be let go but the alien held on, carrying him down the road at an even quicker pace than before, PAK legs clacking hard against the road as they went.

"Where are we going?!" Dib asked.

"Zim's ship." Zim answered.

Behind them, there was a huge, booming, and angry roll of what could've been thunder. Could've but totally wasn't. With a sound akin to a chorus of screams, White Hair and Black Hair also came crashing down from the sky. They tore after Zim and Dib, now on all fours, moving as raging apes, not looking at all fazed by Zim's earlier attack or the mad dash through the woods.

White Hair particularly was fast despite it's larger size. In the middle of it's rampage, the beast reached a human hand and the tips of it's fingers touched Zim's PAK-

Dib took his phone from his pocket and slammed it into the monster's face. He heard a crack.

White Hair stopped, skidded, then Black Hair collided with White Hair and the two rolled, tumbling, barely missing Zim. They snapped at each other, snarling, biting. White Hair pulled at Black Hair's mane, shrieking. "FOOL FOOL!!!" Black Hair demurred, giving way to the abuse but still keened, "MISTAKE MISTAKE!"

With the two demons still in the distance, Zim finally stopped. Dib whipped his sore head and neck around and saw Zim's voot, green flames spouting from behind. With an almost car like screech, the ship stopped, hovered, and the cockpit opened.

With a hop, both were inside. Then, and only then, did Zim finally let Dib go, dropping the human, actually with a great deal of care, into a chair. It looked a lot different than the pilot's seat Zim sat in, larger, and even featured some crude seatbelts that Zim quickly used to strap in Dib. 

"Upgraded haven't you?" Dib asked.

"Sometimes GIR needs to be restrained." Zim explained. 

Dib almost brought up the chair's size but something heavy and with great force slammed into the ship so Dib literally bit his tongue.

Zim hissed and Dib cursed, "FUCK!" They cried. The Voot rolled, alien metal scratching the road so loud Dib thought his ears would burst.

"Zim-!?" Dib cried, the belts saving him from breaking another bone but causing immense pain and a massive loss of air.

Zim slammed into the other side of the Voot and Dib could swear, even through the groaning, complaining ship and the horrible noises outside, he heard what were the snapping of several bones. Zim wailed but the alien didn't hesitate for too long. His attentae, back against his skull, fangs exposed and sharp, the alien launched himself into the pilot seat.

"GET AWAY FROM US YOU BITCHES!!!!" Zim howled.

Zim pressed a button and green bursts shaped like suns in miniture fired, ripping into the monster's on top. The demons were launched high, high into the starry sky. "HOLD ON!" Zim screamed. 

Dib clutched the two arm rests so hard he was sure they'd would snap.

The Voot jumped forward, fast and hot. For a second, it screamed and screeched along the road but then took a sharp leap, finally, free and clear in the air.

Behind, there was a large crash and when Dib looked in one of the monitors, he caught the sight of two masses, shifting slowly, moving to their feet, and, somehow, still alive.

"Wait, Zim, we have to go back!"

Zim didn't look away from his driving but his eyes narrowed. "No." He said. Firmly, simply.

"You don't understand! Those things, they are demons and I, fuck, my car, my…" Dib groaned. "My phone! Zim, we have to turn around!"

Zim pulled the voot to a stop. It was odd, Dib didn't feel it at all, the ship must have geodynamic controls. His injuries were thankful.

But not for long.

Zim stood and leaned over Dib, his teeth flashing. Dib smelled citrus and sucked in a breath. Up close, Zim's skin really looked nice and shiny and he wanted to just reach out and run his tounge-

Zim stuck a claw into Dib's ribs. "No." He said again.

Dib held back a cry of pain. "You fucking asshole-!" 

"Not until you explain to Zim what the fuck is happening." Zim loomed over Dib, close, both claws now on Dib's shoulders. Those pink eyes seemed to set his blood on fire, sitting as Dib was, restrained by the belts in the chair. The orange smell was back and stronger.

Despite himself, Dib entertained the thought. Yeah, he could free himself but maybe if Zim wanted to-

 _"Fleshhhhhh."_ He remembered.

"I don't have time to explain Zim, you just have to trust me-!"

Zim burst into laughter, wild, manic, crazed laughter. "Trust you?! Ha! Dib-beast is mistaken if you think Zim is stupid enough to-"

Dib honestly wasn't shocked at the protests, even after all this time, but he also knew that with enough pressure, Zim would give in.

"You wouldn't understand! You don't get it! Those things, they protect something, something that wants to-" Dib stopped. What should he say? Tell Zim the truth? No, no way Zim would ever let him go if the alien knew what he was trying to do. Not without a huge rant or even being carted back all the way to Zim's base. He'd be locked up until Dib could explain fully why Zim wouldn't be at risk in the end, that Dib wasn't trying to expose the alien. And that was a huge maybe. Maybe Zim, with his madness and crazy brain, maybe he'd come around to understand why it was important for Dib to go back.

But Dib was certain they didn't have the time to waste.

"What?!" Zim demanded, not really angry just irritated.

Dib stared into those glowing eyes and thought of the past few hours. Zim crashing his car, the fight, the fuck (no, no, don't dwell on that right now, not enough time to think about-no!) the way Zim had carried Dib to safety. In a flash, he recalled the years leading up to this day, Zim and Dib on a couch, watching Venom for the fourth time in a row.

He swallowed everything down, knowing that it was for the best. "Destroy the world." Dib lied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Dib.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter went through less editing than I'd like but honestly, I've been under some crazy stress lately so just enjoy!!!

"This...thing you speak of," Zim asked, "is it a weapon or-" 

"No Zim!" Dib shouted. "You can't use the thing to destroy or conquer the planet, don't even start!"

Zim hissed, almost standing up from his seat to attack but, for whatever reason, didn't. His mate was so, so, frustrating and yet, he had the urge to not protest as much as he would've. "Zim wasn't asking for that!"

He had been. 

"Wasn't planning on using the weapon for that!" 

It was his first thought actually.

"It's important to know your enemy. Part of being an invader and a good Irken soldier."

Dib huffed, breath unsettling his glasses. "Well look, I don't know what it is exactly but my research shows that the damn thing is alive and locked up somewhere close to where we…" The human's words trailed off and his face got darker. 

Blushing.

"Fucked." Zim asked. "Yes, and those...eh... horse apes are protecting it?" They were passing over the wreck of Dib's car as he spoke. Save for a bit of torn up tarmac, there was no sign of the two monsters.

Zim stopped the Voot and glanced at Dib. The human was still covered in wounds and Zim could tell, broken in places. Humans were so fragile even Dib. Zim stood and, as he walked by, stabbed him in the shoulder with a needle from his PAK.

"What the fuck Zim?" Dib sputtered but within a few seconds, some of the fight left. "What did you just do?" Dib slurred. "Is that...some kinda poisunnnnn?"

"Zim will go down to retrieve your things while you heal." He donned his goggles, activated his keys, and the tractor beam. Learning from the whole GIR fiasco from years ago, he could control it from his link to the ship. 

"Wait...why are you wearing goooooggly…..googly Google s?" Dib sorta asked.

Zim smirked. Dib was cute when he was like this. "The serum will mend your broken bones quickly and stitch together your fragile meat parts, try not to move too much or you'll end up with extra limbs. And don't touch anything!" 

With that he jumped through the hole in the floor. 

He landed on the ground close to the green Honda. "What do you need from this piece of junk?" Zim asked through the com link. He could see Dib in the Voot as a simple feed view in his goggle's display. 

The Dib looked stunned for a second, eyes going wide at Zim's voice coming from a speaker in the ship. Then he figured it out. "I got some weapons in the back and uh…" Dib-smell blinked, the serum pulling at his mind no doubt.

Zim hissed. "Zim thought you said we have no time!"

"There's my suitcase in the trunk, we just need that. It's got...um, my research in there." Dib said. "The weapons and suitcase are in the trunk."

Zim felt his spooch clench a little. There was something Dib-mate wasn't saying but, again, Zim found himself letting it go. He turned towards the Honda and deployed a laser. Zim sliced into the trunk quickly. It wasn't his fault at all he'd accidentally wrecked the vehicle, the human's build was terrible.

Suddenly, Dib piped up, his voice a little stronger than before. "Oh and I had a snack made, you think you could-"

"No time!" Zim growled. 

Inside the trunk, he found a mess. Empty snack wrappers, files on who knows how many paranormal what's it's, and something that smelled like spilled lemon juice.

He managed to find the stupid suitcase resting right next to a few interesting weaponry. This suitcase wasn't the same as the one Dib had used to torment Zim in the past. It was larger and had two glowing sphere red eyes instead of the blue swollen eyeball logo on the top.

Dib and that Mothman.

Zim snarled. Well the Dib was  _ his _ now. 

"Zim?" Dib asked over the coms, "We gotta hurry."

He gathered the guns, the suitcase, and  _ one _ bag of chips, and returned to the Voot. 

Dib was up, unrestrained, pacing the Voot like a wild Snarlbeast, his thick boots clanging on the floor.

"Ah, the serum worked. Good, now we can-"

As soon as he saw Zim, Dib launched himself forward and he snatched the whole bundle of things Zim had retrieved. With one hand and his teeth, Dib opened the chips and ate them in a rush, somehow not letting a single one fall to the floor.

"Ok, ok, yeahz and now I'm fucking starving and I have to piss and ohmygodZimyousmellsogoodrigjt now!" Dib dropped the weapons, suitcase, and empty bag on the floor and stepped forward towards Zim. 

Zim backed away, "No, no smelly. We have to go stop the world destroying thing-"

Dib crushed his lips onto Zim's and kissed him.

It stung a bit, just a bit, but Zim didn't mind, actually, he enjoyed it and he could feel the strange new/old place deep within himself quiver again and, no, something more. As Dib's arms wrapped around Zim, he felt as if it was right and wonderful and everything he'd always wanted. Dib's arms were strong, solid despite being on the wiry side. Zim felt...safe?

Zim hissed and bit Dib, hard.

As Dib flailed and nursed his bleeding tongue, Zim returned to the pilot's seat.

"Jeez Zim, did you have to um…" He paused. "I mean, what the fuck was in that serum?" Dib asked, plopping down in his chair.

Zim was happy that his measurements were so accurate. It was nice to know he could still surprise himself by his brilliance. "All the side effects will probably be gone in the next few minutes. Including the horn growing from your forehead."

Dib reached up and checked his face with a hand. 

Zim laughed.

"Oh fuck you." Dib said when he found nothing. He pulled his suitcase into his lap and began riffling around in it. After a second or two, the human held an odd dark tan book.

Zim didn't like the look of it immediately. "What is that wretched thing and why does it smell like GIR after a month of escaping bath time?"

Dib gave Zim a confused look. He took a whiff of the book and frowned. "I don't smell anything…" The Dib shook his head, "Look, it's the book I've been using to figure this shit out. I, uh, found it in my research." He opened it up to a page and showed Zim. There was in weird charcoal sketchings, clearly the two monsters that had attacked them along with some weird writing Zim couldn't understand even with his PAK.

"What does it say?" Zim asked. "The lettering is stupid and Zim can't read it."

Dib's face lit up. "Wait...you can't understand the words?" He asked. "Wow, I mean, it's odd that the people on the forums couldn't read it either but if  _ you _ can't read it too…"

"Maybe only stupid dumb insane brains can comprehend it " Zim hissed.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Dib protested. He went back to the book. "So, I was driving towards the...uh...whatever's lair when you crashed my car. It should be at the very center of this forest."

Zim piloted the Voot directly in the center. His scans showed no signs of the two demons but his scales were still itching with nerves. "Those puny weapons look, well, puny." Zim said as they prepared to leave the ship. "If my mighty Irken attacks didn't end them, what makes these guns so special?"

Dib gave a mad grin, a grin which made Zim's spooch misbehave, "Oh, Zim. After all these years, you still underestimate me." He finished securing a side bag with the creepy books safe within and lifted up one of the two boring looking human steel aciency guns. "It's filled with a special mixture of salt, iron and-"

"Yes, yes, amazing but will it actually work against those things?" Zim interrupted. 

Dib shrugged. "The New Jersey Devil I ran into last week didn't seem to like it so…" He shoved one of the guns at Zim. "Maybe don't knock it."

Zim glared, a PAK arm taking the gun and shoving it away. He doubted he'll need it but it was clearly an apology offering. "Lucky you didn't perish without me there to protect you, after tonight, I'm not sure how you manage getting out of bed."

Dib tried to punch Zim but he simply dropped from the Voot, leaving Dib flailing. Only problem was that the Dib was clumsy and ended up falling after Zim. Suffice it to say that Zim found himself under the human once more but not in a fun way.

"Get off of me!" Zim snarled. He was on his stomach, PAK side up. Dib was sitting on his lower spine. Though Zim was a tough Irken, the sheer weight of Dibs huge head was too much. All the stupid weaponry didn't help much either.

"Oh I can't manage it, I'm too stupid." Dib quipped. He even moved to lay back.

Zim spat and hissed. "Mate or not, Zim shall remove an arm from your body, slap your face off with it, and then shove it up your-"

There was a roar. A familiar chorus of bellows from the shadowed trees ahead of them. A wind picked up, strong, heavey, towards the pair and heavy with the stink of oil, greasy animal fur. The ground shook. The demon’s were coming.

Dib got up and as he did, pulled Zim up as well. “You OK to fight?” Dib asked.

“Yes, of course.” Zim answered, two of his PAK legs extending, hanging in the air, ready to blast whatever they would soon face. 

The two walked towards the oncoming booms. Overhead the canopy of trees leaned over them, creating a tunnel of wood and leaves. Under their feet, their boots crushed glowing mushrooms, and other odd, strange things. Zim didn’t want to look too closely.

There, in the far end of the strange path, he could see an odd wall coming out of the shadows on either side. The structure seemed to be made of gold bricks, a simple ink black gate sat in the center, made of a sort of antler like design with a single silver eye shape in the center.

Coming at them were the two monsters. Both looked fine despite having just been fired upon earlier, but then again, Zim didn’t exactly have a lot of time to study their bodies for injuries before he was forced to fight. 

Both the White Haired and Black Haired monstrousities bore down into Dib, screaming and raving fkr flesh. For his part, the Dib didn't seem too fazed. He narrowed his yes in concentration and faced them head on, aiming the gun in his hand at one of the beasts.

He fired.

At one.

The other Zim handled with sythes of PAK leg. He leapt onto Black Hair, all four PAK legs impaling the stinking beast while he took his own claws and wrenched at the mane of the thing. It kept trying to bunk and dislodge Zim but he was not even loosened. Zim recalled a scene in a movie he once saw, a human riding what was called a bull. That human had been trampled under hooves. Yet there was no way of throwing an alien with four cybernetic limbs buried into your sides.

The beast didn't slow, didn't tire, it tore in cictlcds, slaming into the odd twisted makeup of the forest tunnel, screeching a mad monkey song. As it spun, leaving a manic crop circle of dig up soil in the ground, Zim caught a glimpse of Dib's for, lying still on the ground, Dib giving a little smirk.

"Wretched.." Zim began, but the thing below him suddenly stopped, slammed it's side hard into the golden wall, squishing two of Zim's PAK legs between beast and brick. Now Zim was the one howling.

He cried out, legs retreating to heal within his PAk. Now Zim clung to the demon with his two claws alone. He buried his face in it's smelly hair and cursed the whole entire Urth for it's stupidity and snacks and friendship and love and yes, for the Dib.

Black Hair took an ape hand and whipped it around to pluck Zim by his uniform. Zim fought with every inch of his vast Irken strength yet the monster pulled him off to hold him high on the air, dangling like a kitten in front of it's face.

It's horsey mug with those blocky yellow teeth were even more dispecavle up close. The things breath worse of all. It turned it's head though, away, and for a second Zim felt relieved.

Until he realized what it was looking at.

"Hey, hey! Over here you big glue factory reject!" Dib yelled. He was hopping up and down, one hand waving, his other aiming a gun. He stopped once Black Hair focused on him. "Yeah, yeah, over here, I'm the one you want, leave the cricket alone!"

"I'm not a cricket you terrible stink mouse!" Zim spat. 

"Ssshhhhh." Dib warned. "I'm trying to save your bug ass self."

Black Hair dropped Zim to the ground and took off after Dib, rushing the still waving human with a burst of speed and splashing Zim with a few drops of blood from it's wounded side. 

Or what was it's wounded side. The beast had already healed 

Zim cursed. Well fuck, his weapons were useless. Wonderful. 

As before, Dib stood tall, that so self confidence brimming and overfilling his glass. He aimed his gun and pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

"Frell." Dib cursed in Farscape.

Zim moved to action. His turn. With a launch from one full and one half Healed PAK legs, he jumped into the air. Zim screamed and pulled out the gun. He aimed and fired.

Whatever strange ammo the Dib had loaded into it came out as a shimmery, golden silver burst. It was a glossy light and it collided into the very back of Black Hair's head. The beasts skull imploded, shatterdd. For a brief second, Zim feared the shot would actually keep going through and through and wouldn't stop until it hit Dib too. It didn't stop But for both their sales, the shot went right over Dib's head and struck through a few tree trunks, collapsing those, before it embed itself into the dirt a few miles behind them.

Black Hair fell forward. Despite his shock, Dib managed to get out of the way, black Matrix coat and all.

Silence. 

Zim stalked forward to his mate, atanae forward. He stopped right in front of Dib and stared up at him. His eye scans saw no injures aside from an elevated heart beat. Yet he let his attentae ttail over Dib's collarbone and cheeks, the nose. "Are you alright?" Zim asked.

"Yeah." Dib answered breathlessly. "I'm-"

Zim shoved his gun into Dib's arms and then smacked him on the face. ",YOU ONLY PUT ONE SHOT IN THESE GUNS DIDN'T YOU?" 

"I ONLY HAD ENOUGH STUFF TO MAKE TWO SHOTS! ONE FOR EACH MONSTER! IT WORKED OUT DIDN'T IT?!" Dib screamed back.

"Well yes, I guess it did. Eh, amazing work, for a Urth pig." Zim said simply. 

"MY HEAD ISN'T-" Dib blinked. "Wait…" he frowned, "Ummm...thanks?" He flashed a grin. "That actually might be one of the nicest things you've ever said to me."

Zim turned towards the black gate, spooch churning a little. "Any plans for that thing?" He asked, ignoring Dib's jab.

Dib moved to stand next to Zim, he'd dropped the spent guns on the ground and pulled out the book. He had it open to two pages which featured a charcoal sketch of the exact gate. In the book, there was a strange engraving.

"It says 'Congratulations for slaying the beasts, ahead awaits your feast, approach with freed slain eyes, and enjoy your profane prize.' " Dib read.

Zim's attentae twitched. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It's got to be a riddle or something. Freed eyes? Huh." He took a couple of steps forwards. Then a few more. Suddenly, he hit an invisible barrier. It crackled and shocked through Dib with a golden light, sending him screaming and falling backwards.

"Dib!" Zim cried and ran to the fallen human.

Dib winced, his skin was hot to the touch and might even been smoking. "Fuck, that...that really hurt!" He sat up and looked down at the book. "You could've warned me!" He shouted at it.

Zim hissed. "Why did you do that?"

Dib rubbed his head. "It told me to approach! I don't understand what it means. Fucking dumbass book." He moved to throw it but Zim snatched the tome away from his hands.

"Hand it over! Clearly you need Zim's assistance!" He crouched over the thing, scanning over the pages with Irken eyes and his PAK aglow with trying to decipher the strange code. He couldn't read it but the imagery clicked with him. The monsters they had just fought were in the book, on either side of the golden gate, staring back at the reader. 

Dib reached for the book but Zim simply scuttled away on PAK legs. 

"What does this riddle say again, read it again?" Zim ordered.

Dib folded his arms. "Congratulations for slaying the beasts, ahead awaits your feast, approach with freed slain eyes, and enjoy your profane prize." He recited. 

Zim leapt up, tossing the book to a flailing Dib and dove towards the dead demons. "We have to free their eyes!!!" He shouted. 

"What the fuck are you...oh, oh no. Ewww Zim, there's no way they meant .."

After a quick second or two of work, Zim had easy removed the eyes from both the monsters. He dropped all four into Dib's hands suddenly and without hesitation. "There, now" he pushed the startled Dib towards the gate. "Try again, I'll watch."

Dib dug his heels into the earth, stopping Zim's advance. "Hell no." He shoved two of the eyes, gooey and very much gross, into Zim's claw and pulled Zim up to where the barrier had to be and they both went up and…

Through.

Dib let out a whoop and hugged Zim. He kissed the alien on the side of Zim's face. "You brilliant green bean, you did it!!!"

Zim smiled. "Of course I did." He said. And he felt full of...light, warmth, chocolate milk? Marshmallows? No, no, his PAK was glowing but...Whatever it was, Zim never wanted it to end. 

When had things changed? 

Zim and Dib stood for a time, just a second. The two of them in the afterglow of their successes, the cracking of the code, the battle, the sheer immense mysterious naura of the golden wall on this cold autumn night. Zim stared into Dib's eyes, the color of dark honey. He studied every little hair on that scruffy jawline, the shine from Dib's single piercing on his brow. What stone was that? Zim wasn't sure he could-

"We should…I'm probably go inside huh?" Dib pulled away and started forward with a slight straightening of his glasses leaving Zim blinking.

"Pfffst." Zim said, feeling a bit like an abandoned Snarlbeast cub. "You are soooooo in a hurry. How do I know you aren't going to use whatever is in there to blow Zim up?" He asked, easily catching up to Dib.

Dib's reply was lost in a sudden shift in reality. As soon as they were through the gate, Zim's PAK seemed to buzz. Every sense in Zim's body felt on fire and electric and oh, he was dying, he was in the middle of a bright, golden sun again and this time there was no escape and he would burn, burn, bjrn, melt, he was being encoded, again, again, again, no, he was being deactivated, deactivated!!!!!

Arms around his body, not metal, not cold but strong and firm and a tiny bit soft, and a voice by his attentae. It says, it's whisperers…

"ZIM!" Screamed Dib and suddenly Zim was standing in a strange room. An impossible room filled with crazy staircases, strange hallways, twisting and turning and shifting. On the moving walls were so many of those strange symbols from the creepy book. Yellow, black, reds, blues never settling constantly switching around and flunctuating. 

Zim almost barfed.

"Finally, " Dib let go of Zim's shoulders. "I've been trying to get you to snap out of it forever."

Zim went to check his PAKs internal clock to check excactly how long it had been but the thing was...off.

ERROR...ERROR

FAILED TIME EXE. FAILED TIME EXE. 

The message flashed everytime the attempt was made, klaxons blaring in his skull.

"Hey, you...are you alright?" Dib asked.

"Zim is fine." Zim hissed, shaking his head. The warning was weaker than he'd like. He glanced quickly about him. "Where are we?"

"Oh," Dib shrugged, "you know, most likely some sort of terrible alternate dimension where we could easily meet a fate worse than death."

"Ah, so a code Halloweenie?" Zim asked.

Dib laughed at the inside joke. "Yeah, a definite Halloweenie senario." He was looking down at the book, checking the pages. "Looks like we just need to…" he started walking, still reading, flipping pages. 

Zim followed and managed to save the fool man from walking straight off a sudden drop when the weird place changed its layout. He let Dib crash into a couple of walls though, just for fun. 

"Come on Zim! Really? That one had a fucking  _ spike _ juting out of it! I almost impaled myself!!"

Zim laughed and slapped Dib's back. "Ah, but you didn't!"

After that, Dib took more breaks to glance up. 

Eventually, the two came to a huge door, tall, gold, and emblazoned with a circle marked with several symbols. As Zim looked at it, he felt as if the thing would start  _ breathing _ at any second. Maybe the odd pictures in the circle moved once or twice, Zim wasn't sure.

"Behind this door is the... whatever that wants to end the world." Dib explained. "The books says we just need to go through." He snapped the said time closed and stuffed it in his bag. Apparently learning from the gate outside, Dib took more caution in his approach. This time, thankfully, there was no invisible power field.

Instead, the symbols in the circle blazed blue.

Zim and Dib walked forward and the great doors opened. It was odd, there was no sound as they did so. Everything in the strange chamber was silent, no clang or bang, no boom or even the screech of hinges. The door simply opened outward, spookily without fanfare. 

And through the door was a thankfully more stable room than the rest of the weird reality. No changing layout, no vanishing staircases, no appearing windows to crazy world's where crabs ruled the world. No. The door led to a relatively simple room lit with torches, their blue lights pale and ineffective compared to the massive weird gold aura coming from the monument in the center. 

It was huge, it was strange, but it for Zim, it was stupid.

Zim squinted his eyes at the thing. He glared at Dib. "Hold on?" Zim pointed at it. "A pyramid? That's the thing you've been ignoring me for? A fucking fancy triangle?!"

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh hooo hoo Zimmy boy, a fancy triangle you say???


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, guys um...don't hurt me *runs away*

\-----

 _Oh, oh, you didn't like that twist did you? Well, why the_ ** _FUCK_** _not? Hahahahaha, not a fan of_ ** _'ol Bill_** _are you? Hahahaha. Your taste is terrible, garbage,_ ** _USELESS_** **_HUMAN_** _! I'll eat your_ ** _SOUL_** _and then_ ** _SKIN_** _you_ ** _ALIVE!!! HAHAHAHA!_** _Bet you'd enjoy that, I mean,_ ** _I WOULD_** _!!!_

\-----

Dib stared at the towering triangle er... pyramid. It was at least several stories tall and made of the same ancient gold the walls outside had been. There were strange markings along the sides, most notably, a strange, massive closed eye carving in the very center. The eye was surrounded by four stylized eyelashes on top and underneath.

And the entire structure seemed to hum or murmur...did he hear _screams_? It was actually very silent but, on another level, there was a certain distress, palpable, and heavy. Every hair along Dib's arms and even on his legs, stood up. His hands were clammy, shaking even, and maybe he needed to sit down.

But then, Dib felt Zim's three fingered hand wrapped around one of his own and pulled not at all too harshly and it was kinda OK for a second. "What's your fancy book say about this?" The alien asked, voice actually filled what couldn't have been concerned. No, there it was, that same rare tone Zim used when worried. Was the alien afraid? "What's in there Dib-smelly?" Still, that sort of gentleness that made Dib's heart ache.

Dib, not daring to look away from the pyramid only clenched onto Zim's hand in his. "I…" He couldn't tell Zim, he didn't _need_ to tell Zim. Dib could see Zim hissing and throwing a tantrum after knowing the truth.

So, Dib looked back at the alien and only gave one of his best smirks. "It's the answers Zim, all of them."

Zim frowned, magenta eyes narrowing.

Dib recalled the feeling of being in Zim's arms, finally, after all this time pining after him, wanting to hold the other, and yeah, fuck, yeah, to be inside the alien. The time in the grass, oh hell, he wasn't sure what it meant really, why he felt only this particular desire for his once mortal enemy. Why he longed for an actual _relationship_ with the still occasional terror of Earth. It had to because he was in some way broken. How he could still feel Zim's gentle tongue flicking his ear, that desperation Dib had let out but had also gotten in return. The sex, yes, it was good, had been better than anything he’d ever dreamed, satisfying but he would love more, he would kill for more. More than the fucking even, to maybe even be _mates_ as Zim had declared, whatever _that_ had even meant.

But...

There was also the longer childhood, sweet and hot and fucking _cathartic_ as their moment had been there had been it couldn’t really compare to all the years and years of being ridiculed, mocked, bullied, ignored by his own damn _dad_ . Being kicked, spit on, turned down, belittled, cast aside. Hours of having his _brain_ being analyzed, studied, medicated, _electrocuted_ . Always wanting to know the point and reason for it all. Desperately wanting there _to be a reason_ for it all.

 _"Stop trying to get the others to see…"_ Ms. Bitters' voice echoed in his head.

But _why_ did he have to try so damn hard? Why? Why couldn't anyone else see?!?!

Thinking back, to all the nights, peering into the dark, to the endless sea of stars, the swirls of galaxies, every single distant cold planet, wanting something, _something_ to fucking call out, a sign to arrive, one that was so incredible and amazing, no one could ignore when he shared it to the world! They would all see, finally **_see_ **!

He needed to find it because...while this had started as a distraction from his fucked up feelings for an evil alien...Dib finally understood that...

Zim wasn’t enough.

Dib pushed Zim, hard, just as he had done so many times before in their long scrappy coming up together. Zim fell to the strange, symbol carved floor, startled, dazed, and Dib had to look away, those eyes hurt him. Even as he heard the sharp crack of Zim’s PAK hitting ground, Dib turned sprinted towards the pyramid faster than he had ever ran in his life, his coat flying behind him.

Like when he had first entered through the wall outside, a rush of power blasted through Dib, ripping and tearing through him. Except this time, the blast did not send him flying and eating dirt. At the end of the surge, he was upright, present, aware, but no longer, it seemed, in the same world he had been. 

Dib looked around the shimmering gold, black, red, and blue world, nothing but a weird void made of colors and the occasional burning blue flame of a will ‘o wisp. Zim was gone, the chamber was gone, all that remained was Dib, floating in this cursed, strange sea, and the great pyramid before him.

This pyramid, this bizzare object was impossibly large in the new plane. Dib was a simple fleck in the totality of the massive pool of power and he felt as if he was at the mercy of whatever extraordinary being he was now drifting before. The pyramid had an eye, and when the eye opened, Dib sensed he could be swallowed whole at any time.

"Welcome Dib!" When the thing spoke, it was thunder itself turning it's voice towards him, filled with the sounds of many, twisted choruses. Here Dib was, seen by a storm, _the_ storm, the hurricane, the boom of a great volcano as it rained Hell down onto Pompeii. Dib wanted to cry and scream and run and…

"How do you know my name?" Dib asked instead, surprising himself at the steadiness of his own voice. If his ethereal self, or whatever he was now, could sweat, he was sure deserts would be filled with buckets of the stuff. "What are you?"

The great thunder laughed, surreal and unsettling. "I know all your names! Every single one you silly man! And more! Oh ho, I could tell you what your sister, moody Pixel, had for breakfast this morning! I know everything! I am Bill! I can see the very atoms of your existence!" The eye's grew larger, black and red, it beamed down onto Dib, a spotlight of bloody light. "And this knowledge, oh Dib Membrane, this knowledge can be yours! The power to finally, finally show everyone!" Two strange…arms… no, black tentacles whipped around in the being's excitement. "Your world has a problem, right? People are kinda...well, stupid? Even your **FATHER**? Blind to the truth no matter how hard you shove it in their faces! Hahahaha, well, well my good pal. I can help you." The voice had gotten deep, dark at the word 'father' and it made Dib want to vomit. But as quick as a flash, the thing's voice was back to being chipper and happy. "Enough of that, do you want your prize?"

Dib hesitated, his stomach churning still. He recalled all one time he'd made a deal with a demon to beat Zim in some contest or whatever. This terrifying pyramid seemed off, somehow more menacing than the horned goat demon that had skinned both Zim and Dib alive."Uh, yeah, I uh, guess but before that, can you like, I don't know, explain what you're going to do? The book was kinda vague and-"

With a huge, deep, boom, Bill flashed a deep scarlet red. The eye flashed a flaming blue. "DO YOU WANT THE PRIZE OR NOT?"

Dib squeaked. He was too afraid to even curse himself for being so childish. 

"Yes or No!?!?" The pyramid screamed. "Allow the others to see the truths around them or to let them sleep for the rest of eternity? Isn't that what you want, to make the world _see_ ?!? Well, I'm trying to give you that, Moth! Aren't you tired of being the laughing stock? Don't you want the world to know the danger they're in? Isn’t it time you finally get _your’s_."

Dib felt a spike of anger. "Hey, my name is Dib! Not-"

"Oh, OK!” Bill straightened. “I guess you DON'T want to lift the curse then, that's fine. Go back to your weird ass bug outside. Enjoy living a life of only HALF understanding the universe and all its secrets. Maybe you and that freaky alien thing can get a house and a nice white fence since you want to just, GIVE up. That’s cool, I guess. Guess you’ll die in obscurity and all those wedgies and mockings would be for nothing." The great eye went to close.

"Wait, wait, OK OK!" Dib shouted, "what do I need to do?" 

The pyramid’s eye opened with a snap. “Wonderful! I knew you would see sense! All you have to do is simply shake my hand and I, I mean, _we_ can begin!” The thing laughed with glee. It lifted a tendril and offered it to Dib.

Bill had a point, several actually. “What do you get for all this, I mean…” Dib asked.

“You woke me up!” It explained. “And, as soon as you shake my hand, “ it wiggled a tentacle, “I can go into the world and live! I’ve been trapped in here for eons and would love to hover somewhere, anywhere, outside this boring dimension.” 

“Wait, why were you trapped?” Dib asked. He couldn’t help himself. 

Thankfully the great pyramid didn’t seem to be bothered by the question, it just narrowed its huge eye. “Moth, I need you to focus. It's a long story, kinda embarrassing, and ya know, doesn’t really matter. Let’s just say I took a nap and you are my alarm." Bill looked down at one tentacle and studied claws that had suddenly sprouted there before flicking it's great eye back to Dib. "Last chance, do we have a deal?”

Dib took a second and thought of Zim. How well would Zim be able to hide if all of humans were, well, more capable? 

“Worried about your Grasshopper? Don’t be.” The pyramid cheered. “I’m sure you two can whip up better disguises now that your older and, you know, less...well, stupid! Remember, I’m giving you access to my knowledge too! Creating a new get up will be child’s play!”

“Alright.” Dib answered and took the pyramid's offered strange and still clawed black tendril.

Both their hands suddenly became alight with blue flames. It didn't hurt but Dib's already unsettled mind jerked forward, spun. He didn't know why but he felt as if he'd just made a terrible, terrible mistake. The worst one in his entire life.

" **_FINALLY!!!!!!!!"_ **The monster roared. A horrid array of maws opened up around the beast's body, open, hungry red, gaping mouths that stretched and wrapped about the pyramid. Each gaping slash was filled with so many teeth and belched angry blue flames. Bill seemed to almost come apart, all it's parts spun and shifted. A triangular rubix cube of chaos and evil.

 **_"LET'S GET WEIRD!!!!"_ **Bill screamed.

And the world collapsed.


End file.
